i knooowww i should have not been thinking about it but so much has happened and pretty much, i was force to think about it anyway. well, ok get this. all your life, all you have is yourself, then your real families and last, your friends. this is your comfort zone. through life, you will meet a stranger and get to know him and then finally get into him, generally. then you have to get to know his family, him to yours. so the problem is how would you, especially a girl get that golden ticket to enter the new family. just be yourself? boy, you are reading too many books and novels. pretending? not going to get you anywhere. ok, maybe a mixed of be yourself and pretend here and there would let you make it to the finals. well, its going to be a disaster. it used to scare me about this whole in law thing because i dunno, not very good with the people? other's parents usually never failed to scare me? and the family = a lot of people in it with different stories, different other family and yada, yada, yada. haha, of course i am excited to be part of a large, big happy family, if it is a big happy family where i used to own one before my grandmother died. after that, they are all just some piece of shit. don't mind that but today, i figure out, hey, i am going to marry someone else's son and for that i have to gain that permission whether i like it or not. there's no other way, everyone have the same problem and why would i not have the same right. it seems fine for everyone so i guess i'll be just fine even though im going to be scared shitless when the time comes. hahahahaha.
but the thing that forced me to think about this is how a person with a wrecked personality would have gone through that. oh God, i knew this one person who have this problem and i was trying to figure out how she would...tackle the situation. the truth is, im sick of her already, she caused too many problems and know no shame. if she thought she had lost everything in this life, that's bullshit. there are alot of others out there who suffered more than you are. i don't know what more she wants because she had almost everything she wanted. the thing that pissed me off is the way my mom got the worst blow. my mother has done everything for her, absolutely everything, even more than her own children, but then you still thinking that you have less than everyone else. if only she could see that if she changed her ways, we could have loved you better and everything would be easy. and the things that get me, come on, you are all grown up, act like one. yes, i know you are mad with them but do come to your senses, the only way you could do is succeed in your life and show them what you are made of. but no, you can't see that and you don't want to see that. so what else? well, i'm sorry if you feel that way but me and family couldn't care a less too for you. we all have a better things to do than to just feels sorry for you. we do but if you continued to do things like this and acted like you are, i doubt that how you are going to do the in law thing because even us, your real family could not stand you. unless, with other people you pretend to be normal. well, that is so sick. you'll hurt the ones that you love huh? great. carry on, we'll see who get really hurt in the end.you really pissed me off and if i get a chance to fight you, i will make sure i would make the best out of it. and i mean every word.
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