sometimes i've wondered if other people have the same problem as mine. or i have the same problem as theirs. which whatever it is, i'm grateful for what i have. of course, as a human or more precisely as a girl, there was more that i wanted. much, much more than i should. i wouldn't say i lack of things, all my neccesities has been filled sufficiently by my dear parents...thanks to umi and abah. but there was more to dream, is it?
well, maybe back then, i would say i wouldn't miss a thing if i don't have anyone to call my own but today, i know how good it feels to care for someone who cares for me back.
maybe back then i wish for someone who are gloriously perfect but today, i will accept them the way they are because that what makes them special.
maybe back then i would long for the extraordinary person but today, just by being ordinary would always bring that smile to my face.
maybe back then i have this huge dream that i wanted to achieve so bad but today i understand that nothing is more important than to make everything that makes me happy real than the far away dream.
it's what i have now that's the one that i have to make out of the most. im not sure if im looking for something out there but for whatever reason, i am happy for what i have now eventhough i don't have them yet or soon or maybe even never. and to think back, everything in my life falls at the right places. sometimes it scares me that it was so...perfect. the life, the job, the love?
what i have might not be something that people would look up to or let alone fantatizing for it, but for me, i have the best part of it, the most wonderful
and i am exactly where i wanted to be. you might called it an easy way out like i used to think but it's just the same. i had my own difficulties, hardship and obstacles. its in for everyone who went through this life and it never stops and i want to go through my life like i should, for the future is a mystery, for love has no boundaries and for life is too short. just be grateful to the bit of your life that remains and of coures to the one that has just get started.
well, maybe back then i don't want to grow up, i want to stay in my 3 years old world but today i am 20, i finally see the world with my heart, with the help of people around me.
haaa....the long holiday must have taken me into these all mushy stuff. for what its worth, i am glad that i am just an ordinary and living off my so called boring life...that makes me a happy girl :]
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